Drunken Summer Night with Jeannie

Some state of mind -
head swimming,
glasses breaking,
speaking, holding onto words
that should have been eaten.
Loving laughing in this foggy darkness…

something talking,
buzzing, living.
Vodka stained counter
and hard strained typing
with Technicolor on the big screen!

Never underestimate
the power of a loving friend,
hug with a tear stained face
and drink mixed breath.
We all live and love,
never making sense…
but we don’t need to
we have our own language.

Hold You Hopeful

She shouts in my ear
screams of rage and pain.
This pain of course is not her own -
a version of what mine might be
if not numbed by the ice chipped
from your shoulder,
your heart.

She tries not to tell me
of fork tongued revelations.
Sparks fly from her very syllables
forcing me to cringe.

I laugh out loud
trying to hide the urge
the urge to strike the nearest breath
the nearest smile.

I offered explanations
of what part of this had rotted.
I offered my mind
but my soul somehow
was forgotten.

You own a part in the heart
that beats readily in my chest.
She wants more of it, for
she feels you can’t treat it well.
The bruise you’ve caused it eating
sinking, biting, gnawing over
the dotted line she made.

This is why!
This is why!
She repeats.

But I still hold you
hopeful.

You were once

Unrealistic – unreal
booze soaked something
in a private world.
The echoing or a mechanical ring
helps bring me back –
reality
save me.
Answer.

Voice strung through
a nothing, just a name.
Conversations with a ghost
laughter nonexistent.

Gone? Nothing is ever gone?
Right?
Wrong.
You told me to never stop writing
never stop
never stop
tormented chant for the one
who is silenced
by her will to make me curl…
into a ball, under a bed, sleeping
not resting.
Believing not reacting.

I wish to hear the real you
once again
I fear the never again
I want to hear the ringing
again
I dream of…
you